The other day, a friend asked me, “If you could time travel, where would you go?” I replied, “Maybe back to the 70s, when I was a kid.” She was surprised that that’s as far back as I would go. I guess, to me, ‘time travel’ always conjured up the idea of going back in my lifetime and fixing something or making different choices, all based on what I know now.
Recently, my answer would still be to travel back to when I was younger, but with a different spin. You see, I’ve been reading some books lately that would probably be classified as history books. I’ve read a book about Ronald Regan, Princess Diana and currently, I’m reading one about James Garfield.
The books about Regan and Princess Di, specifically, struck a chord with me. All of what I read about Regan’s presidency and all of Diana’s public life, happened during my lifetime. Yet, there was so very much of it that I wasn’t aware of. Regan’s presidency came about when I was a very young adult. I was 18. Although I was classified as an adult, I wasn’t mature enough to pay much attention to presidential candidacies or to realize that I was potentially affected by who won or lost.
As for Princess Diana, I was 14 when she and Prince Charles were married. It was a huge deal. I remember bits of her life like her charity work, the stories of Camilla and Charles, and the day Diana died. But there was so much more.
When my friend asked me that question, I realized that now, I’d like to go back to my younger days but not to just fix random things. I wouldn’t go back to bring winning lottery numbers with me, or to tell off an ex-boyfriend, or anything silly like that. I’d like to go back to pay attention to the world around me. I’d like to focus more on things that were world changing. Experience the world around me. Maybe then, better decisions would be made based on what I was learning? Different choices would be made based on who I was becoming?
This thought pattern, about going back to the past, can sometimes lead to some reflecting thoughts. At least, for me. I turned 50 this past October. With that, I found myself reflecting A LOT. I didn’t decide to sit and reflect. It just happened. In fact, it’s still happening.
The first thought was how little, if ever, we reflect when we are younger. Is it because there isn’t anything to reflect about, yet? I don’t really think that’s it. I think, for me, it was because there was so much more time ahead of me that I still had some sort of a do-over chance to do something better.
I have learned when reflecting that it is important to be aware of the fine line that lies between reflecting and regretting. Those two words are similar in that they refer to a person looking back over their life. However, the results can be very different.
Reflecting is looking over old photographs, sifting through memories, perhaps even using that time as a sort of education as to what to do going forward or to help guide my daughter and grandson. Regret, however, can lead to negative feelings such as anger toward yourself or others and frustration over a past that cannot be changed. I’ve done my share of regretting, too.
I don’t think my friend expected this type of response when she asked me the question about time travel. I think she was looking for a more lighthearted answer. Maybe it’s just the place I am in my life right now, but, I allowed her question to really get me thinking of the past and that has shaped my thoughts about my present and my future.
Do you reflect much? If not, why not?
Thoughts from The Writer 